Emma’s hands are in the soapsuds again. They really should be on her husband. Emma is always busy washing the dishes or keeping herself active late at night, hoping that by the time she’s finished, her husband will be asleep. She has lost her sex drive, and it has nothing to do with her husband. So, what is the problem?

If you feel like Emma, stop, put down the hippo snouts and hyena eyeballs—ancient Romans were said to use such aphrodisiacs—and take a long, hard look at your diet and lifestyle. The answer may be there.

What’s cooking, good looking? A diet high in saturated fats may be causing your libido to flag. Fat can clog arteries, preventing an adequate flow of blood from reaching the genital region. There’s another side to the coin. A high fat diet won’t be leaving you feeling very good—and you won’t be looking your best either.

Sex is all about circuitry. Are the lights on and no one’s home? It seems that coffee junkies were right all along. Caffeine and other alkaloids in coffee boost blood circulation and inspire longevity. Eat Omega-3 rich foods that encourage circulation—such as salmon, mackerel and anchovies—at least three times a week—or take a supplement.

Also try food with L-Arginine. This amino acid is used to make nitric oxide, which is a compound in the body that relaxes blood vessels and therefore improves circulation. Some studies have even reported that nitric oxide does a similar job to Viagra, albeit in a natural way. L-Arginine is found in many types of food, so snack away on oats, peanuts, cashews and walnuts. It’s also found in high doses in dairy, vegetables and garlic.

We’ve all heard that drinking can lead to a lacklustre love life, but according to Amy Reilly, author of aphrodisiac cookbook Fork Me, Spoon Me, not all alcohol is bad for your libido. Amy lauds the properties of champagne, Riesling and Chardonnay as they are said to replicate female pheromones. Cabernet Sauvignon, Pinot Noir and Bordeaux blends, on the other hand, are said to replicate male pheromones. (As if you need another reason to drink wine.) Don’t overdo it, though; the wine may just relax you too much.

It’s not just a fairy-tale: oysters really are good for your libido. A serving of a dozen oysters is full of zinc, which is a key nutrient for testosterone production. Oysters have the added bonus of being symbolically sexual, so these slippery bivalves work on the mind and the body. In fact, one Australian oyster farmer, George May, believes so strongly in their loving power, he even fed his mollusc crop with Viagra in the hope of creating the world’s most potent aphrodisiac. Those oysters had better not get mixed up with the rest of the world’s supply.

It’s important to note that a low sex drive may be an indicator of something more serious, so consult your doctor just to be on the safe side. If, however, it’s just the normal stresses of life getting in the way, then a few lifestyle changes, and the introduction of libido-enhancing food into your diet, may make you leave those dishes for the morning. Good luck!

Text by Malu Lambert